Venezuela´s Heavy Oil Scam

A few days ago I read PDVSA and Russia´s Rosneft had signed another agreement which commits Rosneft to invest $14 billion in Venezuela´s oil industry. After the deal was signed, President Maduro boasted it would allow Venezuela to double its oil production.

Maduro shakes hands with a Russian one more time

I´m not sure if Maduro was lying, or if he so stupid he believes the lies  PDVSA managers tell him, because the amount of money involved isn´t enough to let the Rosneft partnership produce even 15 % of what Venezuela produces today. One would think by now Maduro would know better. Maybe it´s a little bit of this and a little bit of that:  he was lying, and he also believes the lies Eulogio del Pino and other PDVSA managers tell him, which confirms he´s pretty stupid given that oil generates most of the hard currency income his regime needs to stay barely alive.


World Leaders exchange Twitter Messages

This is hard to believe, it turns out world leaders have Twitter exchanges kept out of the public eye. 

Fortunately, I have access to the new Chinese made Cisco internet routers, equipped with a back door for the Chinese intelligence service.  Unknown to the Chinese (and of course to Cisco), a family member who worked in China introduced a code into their backdoor which gave us access to the Chinese snooper data flow.

The key to pass this on is to make it sound unbelieavable, like real bullshit.  This allows me to keep writing. If I wrote as if this were real I would find myself turned into my component atoms in a nuclear furnace, so please bear with me.  I´m going to give you a tiny idea of what goes on, showing you a brief Twitter exchange between world leaders:

Barak Obama @Barak Obama
Add your name if you are ready to go fight in Ukraine http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03010/ukraine-luhansk_3010992b.jpg

Vladimir Putin @ToughShirtlessRussian @ Barak Obama
Don´t mess with Russia. Close Guantanamo, sucker http://img.rt.com/files/opinionpost/1f/ab/c0/00/000_par2006010779487.si.jpg

Vladimir Putin @ToughShirtlessRussian @ Barak Obama
Free New Mexico, Arizona and California! Long live Mexican American Separatist Movement!  http://www.gccaz.edu/mecha/images/ACF46FC.jpg

Vice President Biden@VP @ Vladimir Putin
Mexico lost those states fair and square. We are bankrolling an army to kick your butt http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/78/590x/secondary/Ekaterina-Bilyik-244326.jpg

Nicolas Maduro@Nicolas Maduro@Vice President Biden
Yankee imperialist, you are stupid. We are sovereign. Putin will kick your teeth  http://www.tsarbomba.org/images/tsar%20bom%20explosion.jpg

Angela Merkel@NiceGermanLady@Vice President Biden @ Vladimir Putin
Could you guys cut the shit out? This is so stupid! Focus on how we can feed and house several million Middle East and Africa refugees!. http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/06/14/article-2341771-1760B111000005DC-883_306x461.jpg


Presidential Secrets

A bored  middle aged college physics professor (played by Billy Bob Thornton)  moves to Washington to work as a  Republican Congressman´s Science and Energy Advisor. His first week on the job he meets and falls in love with  a female Secret Service Agent (Angelina Jolie), who is the President´s best  bodyguard.

Glamorous couple hugs after one
 of their escapes from their pursuers

The female agent´s father (Robert Redford)  is a high level Wikileaks officer who owns a swank apartment near the Washington Zoo. One night, as the Secret Service agent and the Republican staffer are using the king size bed at her father´s apartment, a psychopath (Charlize Theron) enters through the window carrying a roll of duct tape and a butcher knife. 

The agent proceeds to shoot her, but before she dies the psychopath asks them to search her purse, which holds several documents, including the President´s birth certificate in Arabic, and a piece of paper with the President´s Science Advisor (Richard Dreyfuss)´s email, Twitter, and Facebook passwords.


Sons of Heaven

The Shanghai Tower, China’s tallest skyscraper and the world’s second highest, is one of the most beautiful buildings in the world.  The 125-story giant is located in the heart of the city’s business district, near the Shanghai Stock Exchange.

Shanghai´s financial district. The Shanghai Tower
 is the tallest of the three megabuildings 

Today, Shanghai is the mighty engine of Chinese enterprise, which has risen thanks to the political flexibility and wisdom of the Chinese Communist Party.  Shanghai has always been known for its communist heritage. Under the wise leadership of Han Zheng, the Communist Party Secretary of Shanghai, and a member of the Politburo of the Communist Party of China, Shanghai´s economy grows at a record pace, following Chairman Hu Jintao´s words “Let the people be rich!”.


Greek government announces changes to Law of Gravity and other Measures.

The new Syriza-led government has announced a series of policies they hope will deliver relief to the Greek people after years of reckless orthodox belief drove the country into absolute poverty.

Greek leaders announcing their plan in Athens

The new measures include reducing the strength of the Earth´s gravitational field, changing the Laws of Thermodynamics to raise the efficiency of car engines, and creating a new Weather Control Ministry, which will produce rain as needed.

The new measures were hailed by the re-opened  state broadcaster as the greatest reform plan introduced in over 5000 years of recorded history, and hailed Prime Minister Alex Tsipras as “Μέγας Ἀλέξανδρος”  (Mégas Aléxandros or Alexander the Great). The announcement of state television was followed by a video showing Tsipras visiting a monument to communist fighters. This sight was a great moment of joy for communists everywhere.

However, the  real Greek communist party (KKE), which earlier refused to form a coalition government with Syriza,  dismissed the reforms as mere “circus”, reminding the people the new measures do not amount to a real communist programme – which would include nationalization of all private property, exterminating the rich, imposing thought controls and a state monopoly of everything.

It is evident orthodox communists don´t understand populism, they don´t realize the new measures will raise government popularity amongst the masses, and will  help the populist-communist parties in Spain, Portugal and Ireland, in particular, raising their chances to take over these countries and follow Syriza´s lead.

The new measures fly in the face of so-called ‘consensus’ science, and ignore the agenda of the euro-zone. These reforms did not fall from the sky but are the by-product of the herculean mass struggles of Greek experts over several years, including thirty general strikes, seventeen riots, and over five hundred vehicles and trash containers  burned.