Turning Tables in Iraq, June 26 2003

June 26th, 2003 

"i got a big yank back to reality today...i can almost forget where i am sometimes...i get busy...i work out...i take a nap...read a book...watch a boot leg copy of 'the hulk'...and then somebody walks in a drops a bomb shell...a bomb that is big enough to scare me yet i don't think i can talk about it because i haven't seen it posted up on any of the news sites this afternoon... 

(i finally saw that the pentagon has announced the missing soldiers...2 troops...gone...their hmmv missing...and they haven't been seen for 2 days...they were out in the town...convoying...like i've done...like i will do again...my mind can only imagine the terror of their situation...kidnapping and torture would be so much worse then an instant death...i think about these soldiers tonight...and i fear the worst...these are real people!!!) 

a nice big slap in the face to bring my little wall of 'barely getting by' crashing down around me...and i pause from my work...from the menial task that i've thrown on myself to keep my mind away from the type of thing that i have just been made aware of...and i'm just glad it wasn't me... 

the soldiers are still dying...right out side my gate...my barricade to baghdad...my little fortress that is more like a horrible vacation then a war...the soldiers who are no different then me...hanging out of hmmv's...running with convoys...their number gets pulled and they don't exist any more... 

it's a sad state that originates when the death of soldiers becomes common everyday news...and it stops being surprising...and shocking...and horrible...when it takes a really gruesome story to remind you that you are in the middle of this shit...and you can't go home...YOU CAN'T GO HOME...you want to curl up and quit...wrap your legs up tight to your chest and sleep... 

we volunteered for this...we sit here because we raised our hand...and sold our souls...most would think that we knew exactly what we were getting into...they would be wrong...we were naive...we were homeless...we were living with our mothers...this is just a job for 75% of us...many do live for it however...many will make it their life and enjoy the sense of pride the military gives you...but a good portion of the u.s. military barely pays enough attention to the news and current events to make a sound stand on any kind of political belief...it's sad...only 40% of america even votes...the percentage slice of the military is even smaller... 

maybe that's why we signed up in the first place...because we didn't really know what the hell was going on... 

our plan for the aftermath...they expected dancing in the streets and what they got is the next Israel...this thing is far from over...and the tensions or mounting...the iraqi people are tired and fed up with promises...they are turning on us because the past regime has fed them so much garbage that they have no patience for our timelines...they want it all back now...the electricity...even though the militants are sabotaging the power lines...the jobs for the ex military 70,000 strong...but where can we create jobs and who will pay for these wages...they all seem to agree that they did not want saddam any more...but they do not like the alternative...us...i can say that i gave two shits about saddam and this country before i deployed over here...and now that i'm here...knee deep in the military muck and circumstance...i feel over whelmed...under paid...and my 2 shits have multiplied into 20... 

these people shoot at us because they are scared...we shoot back because we are twice as scared...they get dead...and we get dead...they are dying in their home land by the 1000's...we are dying a million miles from ours in the hundreds... 

we are human beings...and we are all scared"

This was written by a US soldier in Iraq, who wrote by the name ¨Moja¨. The last entry in his blog was from 2006: 

"For those of you that might still care.

I'm still alive and kicking although nothing turned out like I'd hoped, but what ever really does."