2/25/2017

High Technology Mexico border barrier

I want you all to know that I´m thinking real hard to solve the illegal immigrant problem.  A few days ago I called  President Trump and offered my services to design his wall, because I´m a tax payer, and his idea isn´t exactly the most cost effective barrier I can think of. I´m really into this because anyone who wastes tax dollars is the enemy of the people. Sure they are. They are the enemy of the people.

(Please applaud)

I start out by telling you that Trump really has no idea of how to build a useful border barrier, when he makes speeches and describes it, he just makes it  up. There're no designs. I don't believe he has even looked at the existing fences built by Bush and Obama.

I watched Trump giving his typical spiel about the huge wall he´s going to build, and how he´s going to make Mexico pay for it, and I thought, "Give me a break, I know how to build a better barrier. One that´s going to create lots of good paying jobs, most of them right inside the USA”.

The people around Trump, they're very dishonest people. In fact, they just don´t know when to tell him his comments are bullshit, and this allows the dishonest media to bash him, because he comes across as an asshole.

So I'm not against Trump, I'm not against the wall as such. But I don´t think the US taxpayer ought to be paying for a tall concrete wall. Something like this:

Trump´s concrete wall, with gravel
 road and patrolling border guard

And I tell ya, I love good stories, but I don't go for Trump´s design at all. A tall concrete wall is just stupid, because it´s fairly easy to put up a ladder against it, climb it, and drop on the other side. They can put broken glass, concertina wire, electric fences, or whatever, on top of that thing, and those illegal aliens and dope smugglers will use the wall as a cover to prepare ladders, catapults, cranes, or whatever else they think they´ll need to jump over that sucker.

Instead, I offer you my high technology design. I came up with this after watching several dozen Youtube videos of the existing border fences, interviews with local residents and ranchers, and law enforcement officers who work in the border counties: 

2/21/2017

Swedish Crime: I interview former Swedish PM Carl Bildt

A few days ago, President Trump gave one of his rambling speeches inside a hangar at the Orlando airport. The campaign-style speech outlined what he intended to do, and was met with cheers and applause by about 9000 fervent followers. The speech was controversial as usual, and included a passage which triggered a long series of articles and social media trolling, which went as follows:
“Sweden. “They took in large numbers. They’re having problems like they never thought possible. You look at what’s happening in Brussels. You look at what’s happening all over the world. Take a look at Nice. Take a look at Paris,”
If we read this carefully, the president didn´t say there had been an attack in Sweden, but he stuck it in between the names of countries which have had horrific terror attacks in recent years.

This time the trolling went to the highest levels of the European elite: former Prime Minister Carl Bildt (who used to lead a center right party)  got on his Samsung and Twitted: “Sweden? Terror attack? What has he been smoking? Questions abound.”

Former Swedish Prime Minister´s Tweet 

I saw the potential to get a great pseudointerview out of this controversy, so I called Mr Bildt´s assistant, Mohammed Dame, and managed to get into his busy schedule. So I put on my bullet proof vest in a handbag,  flew to Stockholm, and rushed to Bildt´s favorite hangout in Östermalm, one of the poshest neighborhoods in Europe.

I started the pseudointerview recapping the last 24 hour´s events:

Fernando: Mr Bildt, the origins of your now famous tweet “what has he been smoking?” began with Trump´s speech in Orlando, you didn´t have time to figure out the consequences, so you went ahead and started this controversy. What do you think now that Sweden has been put in the spotlight?

Carl Bildt: Well, after the election, I made a fresh start and decided my own personal and professional priorities were the key to happiness, social media became my top priority, and because I don´t have a real job anymore, I figured, what the hell, I´ll pile on Trump now that´s so fashionable.  

Fernando: However, as  you know, terrorism in Europe is getting on people´s nerves, it has never been the same since the Charlie Hebdo massacre, Belgium and Nice ratcheted up tension,

2/12/2017

Expansion Rate of the Universe revised using Alternate Physics

The following is a draft of my award winning paper, to be published in Science, which is sure to get me a Nobel Physics prize. Credit is due to the multitude of scientists who preceded me, including Pope Paul V, Urbain Le Verrier, Giovanni Schiaparelli, Emmanuel Velikovsky,  Stanley Pons, and Michio Kaku.

Until now, the classical view of the Universe is based on incompatible theories: quantum physics, and Einstein´s general relativity. However, 97 % of scientists agree that quantum theory doesn´t make sense, because “God doesn´t play dice with the universe” (Einstein, 1912). Segments of the scientific community  have speculated when they saw the scientific evidence (Le Verrier 1838).  Some of these models provide a glimpse of reality in a limited sense, and while they do not agree on all of the details, models and equations do predict a few general trends (Maxwell 1883).

Maxwell´s Equations

Maxwell´s Equations were built upon his concept that the vacuum was like an elastic solid. In other words, he didn´t limit himself to scribbling stuff on a piece of paper. This concept was ignored until Henrietta Leavitt figured out the relationship between Cepheid period and luminosity (Wikipedia). Leavitt´s idea (polished a bit by Hertzprung and Hubble) eventually led Emmanuel Velikovsky to figure out that Venus had been responsible for stopping the earth´s spin when Joshua´s raiders blew their horns at Jericho (Velikovsky, 1956).

Velikovsky had a great influence on the evolution of scientific thought in my head. His theories gave me the running room to throw out information I couldn´t fit to my equations, which allowed me to grasp the meaning of Maxwell´s “elastic solid vacuum” concept of the universe (Fernando 1976). My new conceptual discovery of the universal truth incorporates everything. It´s so different that even the great Sabine Hossenfelder has been unable to grasp its multidimensional paraphernalia.

Here I must digress, and explain that in modern physics, nobody agrees on much that matters. First, according to the gossip in MIT hallways, Dr Alan Guth (MIT)  got into a fist fight with Dr Paul Steinhardt (Yale), over the nature of the early universe. Second, Dr Michio Kaku got so tired of the number of conflicting string theories evolving as a result of the lack of googolplexwatt particle collider data, that he got a job on TV (Kaku, personal communication). Third, the Coppenhaguen school of quantum mechanics was discredited when Gell-Mann said: “Niels Bohr brainwashed a whole generation of theorists into thinking that the job (interpreting quantum theory) was done 50 years ago” (Motl 2016).

2/07/2017

Technical post on Nordhaus' new DICE model

I'm using this post to document a comment I made about Dr. Nordhaus' revised DICE dynamic model. This model is used to predict world wide CO2 emissions, and has been used to create "business as usual" economic runs which in turn are used to set USA, EU, and other countries' energy and emissions policies. Below I explain the model is flawed, requires a significant overhaul, and explain briefly the reasons why. 

Nordhaus' description of the work he did with DICE is here: 

http://cowles.yale.edu/sites/default/files/files/pub/d20/d2057.pdf

If we refer to page 12, in the paragraph headed "decarbonization" we can read "the model has a highly condensed version of the energy sector". I don't have access to Dr Nordhaus, but I would like to point out that a dynamic model expected to forecast CO2 emissions ought to treat the energy sector in detail. Emissions reductions are dictated in part by government policies, population growth, changes in the size of economies, the cost of fossil fuels (ignoring externalities) and the cost of replacement energy sources. 

Please note that emissions have almost stabilized over the period 2014-15-16, even though oil and coal prices were in the lower part of the price cycle. This was driven in part by policy, but it was mostly due to market conditions. The key item to focus on is the significant drop in the cost of photovoltaic solar power, a slight improvement in energy storage costs, slight improvement in wind turbine costs, etc. 

Now we are entering a period of rebounding oil and natural gas prices, and we do know there's a limit to reserves (this seems to be ignored by the dice model). The forces which "bent" the CO2 emissions to a much lower growth rate are still working. Therefore I must conclude the DICE model needs to be revised and gave a much more detailed and properly documented energy sector treatment. 

This flaw renders its results fairly useless for policy setting, and this means it's fairly easy to overturn any policy decisions made using this particular model's results. 

2/04/2017

The Imperial Order Code of Conduct

The Imperial Order Code of Conduct is the set of standards by which all officers of the Empire live up to and are measured by. 

Article 5.

"Officers of the Imperial Order are expected to adhere to the Code of Conduct at all times, especially when communicating with other officers via Whatsap, Skype, and E-Mail. Officers are to respect and treat their inferiors according to their rank, birth line and religion.

Emperor and Darth Banon action figures 

Article 6.

When an imperial Nobleman of the Great Order of the Dragon is assigned as senior counselor to his Imperial Majesty, he has full authority and responsibility for managing the activities within the framework of policy and direction set by the Emperor. 

His primary responsibility is to organize and direct those assigned and ordered resources for efficient and effective control of the nation and enhancement of the Emperor's wellbeing, that is whenever his Vid appearances receive a "Big Plus" from 80 % of the commoner population, or when his personal wealth increases faster than 7% per annum."

I understand the above articles to give Darth Banon full authority to command the Palace eunuchs to do as he pleases, provided the orders do meet established criteria.

2/02/2017

I interview President Biff Tannen

Last night I interviewed America´s brand new supreme leader, President Biff Tannen, at his residence in Washington, now known as “Tannen Mansion”.  Before I was given access to the waiting room for my audience with the world´s most powerful ruler, I was led to a small theatre where they were showing the new presidential mansion introductory message, starring Clint Eastwood:

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the Biff Tannen Mansion! Dedicated to America´s #1 Citizen. And America's greatest living folk hero. The one and only Biff Tannen. Of course we've all heard the legend, but who is the man? Here you will learn how Biff Tannen became one of the richest and most powerful men in America. Learn the amazing history of the Tannen family, starting with his great-grandfather, Buford 'Mad Dog' Tannen, fastest gun in the West. See how an inheritance on his 21st Birthday made him a millionaire overnight.

Share in the excitement of a fabulous business deal streak that earned him the nickname "The Smartest Man on Earth." Learn how Biff parlayed that inheritance, and family connections, into a vast empire. Discover how President Tannen has successfully legalized gambling in US Army bases, and will turn US Navy warships into beautiful casino-hotels to be moored at all major world ports.

Meet some of the women who shared in his passion as he searched for his three true loves, the beautiful Ivana, Marla, and Melania . And relive President Tannen's happiest moment when in 2016 he realized his life long dream by defeating President Clinton´s  sweetheart, Hillary Rodham Clinton, for the presidency.

Marvel at the newly redecorated Tannen Mansion, the luxurious Albacete marble pillars, Venetian crystal chandeliers, gigantic painted portraits depicting Greek myths, cherub statues, and the new indoor fountain. And now, without further ado, the Greatest Show on Earth!!"

PresidentTannen´s voice came from speakers up on the celing: 

"I just wanna say one thing! God Bless America!"

After watching this brief introduction, I was given a booklet describing Tannen Hotel properties I could visit, and a 10 % discount voucher good for a one week stay. Afterwards I was led into the Presiden´t office. The sight was impressive…he was surrounded by a retinue of white folk wearing dark business suits. I recognized Vice President Penco, several Secretaries, and a dark clad unshaven dude who looked like his consigliere.