9/14/2015

Waziria's President Obombo closes border

This summer's heavy Syrian and Afghan "unauthorized inmigrant" influx led Waziria's Pressident Patrice Obombo to order the full closure of his country's border with neighboring Cameroon. 

President Obombo announced this measure during his weekly TV show on national TV, "Hitting with the hammer", originally devoted to discuss the construction progress of Kumbasi's new World Bank financed solar powered water heater.

 The president's brief remarks were followed by a video clip of his visit to the border region together with senior Wazirian military officials, who have ordered the Wazirian army to stop all traffic until a new set of fences can be built to allow funneling all border crossings to immigration control points manned by the Interior Ministry OMON militias. 

President Obombo announces border closure 
to stop unauthorized inmigrant invasion 

 Interior Minister Julius Merkel, who had historically supported Waziria's generous benefits program for unauthorized immigrants from Syria, Iraq, and Afghanistan, followed the president's speech with a short speech of his own, in which he acknowledged his policy had failed, because it was so generous it had gradually increased the flow of foreigners crossing into Waziria from Cameroon. 

"I must confess I never expected the number of Syrians and Iraqis coming into Waziria would increase at an exponential rate" he moaned, "the Cameroon government takes them at their NE border, puts them in army trucks, and dumps them on our border, where they cross freely due to the lack of barriers or personnel to stop them". He clarified that he never expected the Syrian, Iraq, and Afghan conflicts to last so many years, and reflected "evidently, if I had known about this exponential growth equation, and the way the USA would encourage civil wars to let them fester for decades, I would have been less inclined to implement my "refugees welcome" scheme". 

Meanwhile, President Obombo's main political rival, Senator Bala, held a press conference in which he remarked: "It's a shame that neither Obombo nor Interior Minister Merkel were familiar with the exponential growth equation, nor with the simple concept that people living in poor countries will flood into rich countries offering generous benefits and jobs. My own proposal, to allow carefully controlled inmigration from Togo and Burkina Faso, our poor neighbors, was ignored by Obombo after he was pressured by Julius Merkel. This was all cheap politics to please Merkel's "Watermelon" political faction. Now, thanks to their carelessness, we allowed 350 thousand uncontrolled immigrants to enter Waziria in the last three years, and another 500 thousand are in transit, many helped by smugglers and terrorist organizations".

 The inmigrant crisis has caused a deep split within president Obombo's political party, and strengthened Senator Bala's "Waziria is our home" nationalist forces, who are now going happily from home to home distributing flyers showing their border fence plans and protesting at mosque and madrasah construction sites. 


Border fence model advocated by the opposition's nationalist faction.

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