It was never an utopia. I had nightmares after I left, they lasted for many years. In these nightmares I was back in Cuba, and I couldn't get out. My relatives who were left behind seem to be lobotomized, adapted to take the abuse. They have an odd disconnection from anything involving politics. They seem to think the regime is all powerful and omniscient. And they fear it.
The Cuban experiment has had an interesting result: those who were like me were either driven out or murdered, what's left isn't the Cuban people who used to be. I think the Castros committed the genocide of Cuban society. What's left isn't their perfect socialist man, nor is it Cuban as we used to be. When I think if it, it's horrifying.